Hey fitness fans, it’s coming up to the holiday season when New Year’s Resolutions will be cast in hummus dip served at holiday parties. Around this particular time of year, my gym has new people taking tours and signing up as they prep for the New Year and their own “new you”. January 1st marks the time when people make yet another valiant attempt to turn over a new leaf toward losing some weight and getting some exercise. New people pay the full sticker price for an annual gym membership this time of year. This is good news for the gym and the regulars because it keeps the gym funded, and well-maintained, and continues free towel service and the goodies in the locker room. Oh sure, it gets a bit crowded for the first six weeks of the New Year, but the entertainment value is outstanding when new people fill the gym.
Come February 1st, half of the “Resolutions Newbies” get culled and don’t show up for most of February. This group does make a brief re-appearance two weeks before their Spring Break vacations. You know, to get in shape for their upcoming vacation. After Spring Break, most of the first grouping is gone for good. Thank you very much for making the effort and plunking down your cash for the entire year to keep the gym running. The next tier of newbies does a much better job of trying to be consistent. They’ll exercise regularly and make some good progress. About half of tier two gets culled when the weather starts to get bad. The first big snow of Jan/February puts this group back on the sofa. Once the snow clears, some will get back to it….to get into shape for Spring Break.
After Spring Break, the regulars pretty much have the place back to normal. There are Resolution Newbies that will stick with it until the weather starts to warm up. In Chicago, that’s June. By the time the following November/December rolls around only a handful make it through the entire year and create a successful lifestyle change. The cycle continues.
For the past couple of years now, I found myself paying attention to the Resolution Newbies and trying to pick out the ones that have the best chance to make it the entire year, and are good for them. It does provide some entertainment between reps/sets during January/February. The first group that barely makes it through January is pretty easy to spot. It goes anywhere from having perfectly matched outfits and spanking new gym shoes to reading the instruction plates on equipment and trying to make adjustments to the seat or range of motion on a machine. I rarely see these people in the free weight section.
So why is there such a high attrition rate for the Resolution Newbies? After years of observation and making mental notes, I’ve witnessed a few idiosyncrasies of these Newbies. If anyone reading this falls into the category, call me out if I’m wrong. For the men, it’s quite easy. After years of working long hours for “the man”, their bodies are growing soft and their muscles dormant. Some will rely exclusively on their memories of bench pressing 200+ lbs. Well, sadly they’ll rack up those weights and give it a try. If they are lucky, they’ll squeeze off two or three and re-rack. They then move to another piece of equipment put the pin on a weight they remember and try a set. After a rest, they will lower the weight and try another set. Their technique and form are incorrect which results in “cheating” the entire set, negating any benefit of the exercise. After this exercise, they will move to a different machine and go through the same process of working with too much weight. After this punishment, they will move to a treadmill and walk for a while. They’ve survived their first 45-minute workout in years.
The consequences of this punishing first workout in years will take its toll when they get home. They will be experiencing something called delayed-onset muscle soreness, DOMS for short. The level of true discomfort is something these people have not experienced in a very long time. It is this two-day-long soreness that gets them to re-think this plan to get back into shape. The motivated and smart ones come back after a few days and sign up with a personal trainer. Smart move as the trainer will ease them back into and train them, coach them on proper form, and provide some nutrition advice. For those that do come back without going down the personal trainer route, they’ll try the same type of heavy workout again, walk on the treadmill, and call it a day. Except this workout was much more uncomfortable as the muscles were still in repair mode. They didn’t adjust their diet to fuel a complete muscle recovery from the previous workout. They’ll go through DOMS again and take another few days off away from the gym to recover. They get busy at work and nearly forget about the gym for a week. A bit of financial leverage drives them when they get their credit card bill and see the $599 gym membership on the statement. Out of leveraged guilt, they go to the gym on the upcoming Saturday. When they walk in, they are reminded of the pain of discomfort from the previous two workouts, so they head right to the treadmill. They punch in the 30-minute program and go through the motions. When they step off of the treadmill, they know they are done. This is not fun for them, so they convince themselves that golf season is coming up and they’ll get back in shape on the course. Ya, right, but at least there is some walking involved.
I always said that if working out and taking care of yourself is not part of your lifestyle by age 30, it won’t be without herculean effort later in life. There are exceptions though. Mrs.fromthebachrow’s uncle retired at 65 from driving a city bus. Upon retiring, he decided to join a running club and train for a marathon without any prior training since his return from Vietnam. Since his traditional retirement, he has run several marathons. Amazing! Today, he no longer runs marathons, but he continues to run.
Bottom Line. When we are young most people will spend their health chasing money. When we are burned out and well past our prime, we’ll spend our money chasing health. There’s a better way and achieving balance in this area will pay huge dividends.
So if you have exercise and eating healthy on this year’s Resolutions list, I suggest a few things that will increase your success when you sign up for the gym this year or dust off last year’s membership.
1. Bring a friend as a training partner to hold each other accountable for meeting gym time commitments.
2. Sign up with a personal trainer for the first month to reacquaint yourself with your physical condition.
3. If you skip the personal trainer, sign up for bi-weekly classes, yoga, Zumba, cross-fit, spin, or anything. Professional trainers make sure you have a good experience and they will encourage you to reach your health/fitness goal.
4. If you sign up for a new gym membership in January, negotiate or sign up for just 6 months. The summer months are when gyms run promotions and you can pick up the next six months or year at a significant discount. Push back on the initiation fee, it’s pure profit for the gym and adds no value to your membership. Many times they will waive or throw in a few sessions with a personal trainer. The bottom line here is that if they force the initiation fee on you, get something of value in return. Don’t be afraid to ask, they want your business.
5. Find a gym that has the space, equipment, facilities, and people that you will enjoy being around that is CLOSE TO YOUR HOME or WORK.
If it becomes a hassle to get to the gym because of distance or traffic, you will end up going fewer times.
As promised in the headline, here are the 21 types of people I see in my gym in no particular order.
These are merely observations without judgment. (Well, just a couple.)
1. The Grunter (grunts and informs those around him that he is lifting heavy)
2. The Choo Choo (exhales loudly through his teeth or pursed lips)
3. Weight banger (drops weights or stacks on the machine utilizing gravity)
4. Pencils (underdeveloped legs due to the extreme focus on vanity muscles, arms, chest, and back).
5. Macy’s Makeup Counter (women who wear full makeup while exercising)
6. Hoops (large earrings swinging while on the cross trainer)
7. Bag Lady (carries her purse around during the workout)
8. Sewing Circle (more than 3 people standing in front of equipment having a long, long conversation.
9. Multi-tasker I(texting while doing sets on the seated leg press)
10. Trader (has to talk to his stockbroker during a workout)
11. The Fact Checker (Carries the entire Sunday Chicago Tribune onto the stair stepper machine and reads it for 30+ minutes.) I still try and figure out how she holds onto the whole thing during a workout. Lots of folding.
12. Multitasker II (Talking on a mobile phone while running on the treadmill)
13. Time Waster (Engages anyone in a conversation instead of working out)
14. Old Yeller (Stops working out to yell at the TV when a bad play occurred during a game)
15. The Walker (sets the treadmill at the lowest possible speed and watches TV while walking slower than they walked in the door)
16. The Gym Rat (never misses a workout, works a different muscle group every time)
17. The Singer (Sings along with whatever song is playing on their iPhone) OK, this is the most annoying one.
18. Lazy or inconsiderate (does not rerack the weights they used. They just walk away)
19. Sweat Shop (does not wipe off pad or machine after use) Gross, just gross.
20. Groupies (work in groups of three or more and monopolize a machine).
21. The Reader. Reads a novel between sets and/or reads while doing an exercise.
Stay Healthy, Get Fit
Fully agree. Nutrition plays a large part in my overall health and fitness plan. Avoiding and nearly eliminating highly processed foods is a struggle when shopping for food.